It has to be Mother's Day...doesn't it?

Hey all...I figure with it being Mother's Day and all, now would be a good time for a post that I've been putting off. One that the very thought of has wrenched my heart for a while now...but I can't think of a more appropriate time to post it than now...



Hard to believe it's been almost 6 months...1/2 a year since I last held my wife. It seems like it's been forever...and just yesterday at the same time. Sometimes, I still expect to come home from work and hear her asking me how my day was. I just can't believe that she's gone...it's so unfair.



Let me tell you about the Christy that I knew...

The Christy that I knew was a kind and selfless soul...she would give every bit of herself to help someone else, without lifting a finger to help or defend herself. Whether it was helping some of her friends cope with a loss through the creative use of scrapbooking, donations and kind words, or volunteering to help babysit anywhere, any situation, any time. Whether it was putting a lot of extra time in to ensure that the mothers of the children in her room at the child care that she worked at had every minute of their childrens day documented (project, scrapbooks, etc) to something as little as the extra little touches she would put on thank you or holiday cards, she was at her best when she was watching out for others.

The Christy that I knew had a presence about her...I felt it the first time I met her. There was something that just drew you to her (especially children and animals...). I don't really know how to describe it, but you felt better just being around her. It's what drew me to her...made me look past the boyish haircut, baggy fleece shirt and much too big second hand jeans and see the incredible woman that was inside of her.

The Christy that I knew was born for one thing...to be a mother. From the dolls that she played with as a girl (many of which I still have in a box...all of which have real diapers on...) to the kitty cat that she got when she was 9 years old and dressed in doll clothes and pushed around in a stroller (I'm not kidding...one day I may scan in and post the pictures). This is a girl who knew from a very young age exactly what she wanted in life...and prepared herself for it in everyway. From helping to raise her beloved brother, to the way she treated the cat, to all the babysitting jobs that she had, moving on to being the night nurse for a couple of wonderful children with special needs and finally getting her degree in Early Childhood Education, her life was always pointed in one direction...motherhood. Heck...we weren't dating 3 months and she was already regalling me with stories of what she wanted to name her children (she already had several baby name books...she was only 20 years old!) When she finally got the children she so desperatly wanted, nothing in this world could wipe the smile from her face. I'm so happy that I was the one who got to share in the fullfillment of this dream for her.

















The Christy that I knew was the light of my life. She wasn't perfect, we had our differences and disagreements and sometimes she drove me absolutly nuts. But I loved her more than anything in this world and I would give anything to still be with her. The funniest thing about that was that this is a relationship that almost never happened. Now...most of you who actually know me know that if you look up shy in the dictionary, my picture is right next to the definition. To say that I'm painfully shy would be the understatement of a lifetime. I dated a little in high school...nothing ever serious...college was 5 years of hang-ups, trying to work 25 hours a week and go to school...didn't really date at all. So here I am studying for my last finals (literally...last term of college before graduation) and my mom (who was going back to school at the time) has a classmate of hers come home to work on a take home final with her. This was Christy. As I said earlier...there was just something about this girl that I couldn't figure out...well, the day goes on, I don't really say 2 words to her and she's gone. A week or so later, we get a Christmas card from her...in it she says something to the effect of, "I really enjoyed meeting your husband and son (hint, hint)". So here it is, she laid it out plain...and it still took me almost two weeks to ask her out...when I knew she wouldn't say no!! So...that's the first way that things almost never got started...

As I said...it had been 5 years since I had really been on any kind of real date, so I was absolutly terrified about how to handle it. I knew that there was something special about this girl and I didn't want to do anything to mess it up...so I resolved myself to not do anything that would appear to forward. Didn't want to scare her off...some plan. Two and a half weeks or so after our first date...I still wouldn't hold her hand or hug her unless bidden. Kiss her, HA! Yeah right. Well, all my brilliant plan succedded in doing was confusing the heck out of the poor girl. So she came to my house with every intention of telling me off and leaving...but (thankfully) decided to give me one more chance. We ended up having a very long talk, were I managed to explain myself properly (and she ended up late for work...sorry Tina!) and things finally took off from there.









This is my wife as I knew her.

Christy, my love, Happy Mother's Day...I wish we could share it with you.